well right now....i dont know. im supposed to get up soon and pack, but i dont really want to. i have to go camping. and the dads club cabin. where its usually really really cold. and snowy. and now the interwebz isnt working...again. i hate today. and im hungry. you know what i learned today? relationships are suicide. if you get too attached to someone, and then they leave you, it kills everything. you feels like youve lost everything in your life, like nothing can be right ever again. im too afraid of everyone. really. i get attached to people, then i lose them and the world has to start all over again empty. everything is ruined and lost, and then get left here hurt and dying on the inside, while they go dancing into the sun smiling, trying to forget everything thats happened. then all they say is to forget it all. to forget everything, and move on. that its all going to get better someday, and they still care about you, even though theyre leaving forever. everything will heal then. but nothing is forgotten. every glance, every touch, is stored away in the heart and comes out all at once at the end and it hurts more than anything. but hey, im just a lovesick teenager. what do i know about love? love, what is it, anyway? just what everybody needs, or just wants. we are born, we live a bit, then we fall in love, have sex and have kids and die and everything goes back to the beginning and do the kids love their parents like that? no, they dont know what love is really like until after. when they cant get a person out of their head, no matter how hard they try to focus on anything else. when they need to see that person, and make sure that they are safe and happy. when they would kill themselves just to hear that person tell them that they are cared for. love, or a simple infatuation, or even when you only like the person as a human being. it always hurts when they say to forget everything.