my ranting about psycho wards and open house......and a dress??

so, now i have no clue what to do. at all. maybe ill just start ranting. hmm... i dont know. yesterday was open house, i and was kind of scared to go to it because i thought i was getting a bad grade in biology. first and second went by way to fast for my liking. i felt like i was about to throw up by the time it was third period. but then when we got there, it turned out that i was "doing fine" in the words of mr. warren. all that nervousness for nothing. then i didnt want to go to my fourth period (journalism) because i hadnt yet turned in my story. i barely even knew what it was supposed to be about. genius, right? but yea, then when we all got home my parents decided to take away my my ipod, even though i had gotten a good report. jeez......

i was also thinking this morning on the bus about people that "normal" people call crazy and decide  to put in padded cells. a few years ago, those people were not permitted to live. they were thought of as harmful to the rest of society and put to death for something that they couldnt change. its not like it was their fault. 

but i have seen and heard things that werent there before. few people actually believe 

me when i say that. the first thing that i ever "imagined" was a creature in a hooded cloak standing on the side of the road, not moving whatsoever. it was very dark, and very late at night. that was in december of 2008.

the first thing i had ever heard that wasnt there was a voice outside talking in spanish. i dont speak spanish, but my neighbors do. however, it was way too close to my house for someone to just go up and start talking. there was only one voice, like they were talking on the phone or something. that happened about summer of last year.

the second and so far last thing i heard was a small tune outside my window. it sounded like a music box, the type of small, eerie sound that you hear right before a little girl is killed in her bedroom in horror movies. or right before that little girl decides to murder her parents. it was about 6:30 in the morning, about a month or two ago. 

the most recent thing that ive seen was a human heart in the sky. not like a cloud that roughly  looked like a heart, a real heart. the outline of it, the details, everything. it was huge, a giant organ in the sky. that 

was tuesday this week.

i realized on the bus this morning that some people might consider me as insane and want to put me in a padded cell like all the others. i feel normal. people think that im a member of the undead because of my skin temperature, thats the most that they tell me. 

i also have two friends that have been to mental hospitals, one of them for 3 days, the other having gone to several for months at a time. 

they seem sane to me. they just need help, and someone to listen to them at points. 

the one that was in for 3 days was there because she got pissed at her mom and ran away leaving a note saying how she was going to kill them all. she also said that being in the psycho ward "was fun. they give you pie!" .......really. -.-

the second was in for extreme depression, she was suicidal. she told me that it was too easy to sneak razor blades in. obviously, she needs help. she has gotten it, but it didnt work at all. when people try tho get into your personal life like that, it makes you feel like theyre trying to make you someone else. i would know, ive been there. stupid...counseling....>.<

oh well. that friend is still alive (for n

ow) and i hope she doesnt kill herself or anything. 

but yea. that gave me something to do in my boredom. 

i wish i could go sleep....

and heres a pic that i just wanted to put of a gothic lolita dress.

i might find this one day and wear it....for no reason at all. ^~^